philosophy·theme

Self

The question

Who is the real me? What is identity, given that experience fragments into different modes of being — sometimes radically different ones?

How Zaid approaches it

The question is worth asking, but the premise gets dissolved rather than answered. The assumption that there should be a single, stable, discoverable "real me" is itself the problem. Brains don't work that way — they switch modes. Selves may not either.

Current landing: if there is a real me, it may not be a defined state at all. It could just be "the ongoing process of switching, observing, reacting, and adapting."

Accepted consequence: learning to live with the ambiguity.

The self as impermanent

From 2025-06-20-purpose-vs-absurdity — the self is not a fixed structure:

Things changed. I changed. And with that, the purpose I once held onto slipped away.

From 2025-06-26-the-art-of-letting-go — the self is among the things that are temporary:

Your own reflection in the mirror — temporary.

These are milder versions of the same move made more sharply in 2025-12-07-states-of-brain: the self doesn't sit still.

The self as constituted by choice

From 2025-09-15-invisible-currency:

Who you become depends on which thread you reach for next.

The self is partly made by the choices that thread through it. This links self to agency — who you are is in part who you keep becoming.

Related concepts

  • mind-as-states — the mechanism: why the self feels like many selves
  • observer — the meta-cognitive system watching states; offered as the closest-to-stable component
  • impermanence — the self, like everything, is temporary
  • acceptance-of-ambiguity — the disposition of living with no final answer about who you are
  • agency — if the self is constituted by choices, agency and identity are deeply linked

Related positions

Open questions (for future writings)

  • Is the observer an identity or just another process? 2025-12-07-states-of-brain says both at different moments.
  • If identity is a process, what makes it yours as opposed to anyone else's?
  • Does acceptance of ambiguity ("I will have to learn to live with that") stabilize or destabilize the sense of self?
  • Is there any component of the self that doesn't drift — a values kernel, a style, a recurring set of preoccupations? Worth looking for in future writings.

Sources